Shouting in an empty room

The world doesn’t need another blog. I have a sneaky suspicion that whatever I write here won’t do much to further the human quest for whatever it is we’re questing for (unless it’s self-destruction of course – still, plugging in my laptop a bit more often than before won’t add much to my carbon footprint, right?) My ego isn’t so demanding that it feels it deserves an audience. Far from it. Most of the time it would rather stay in bed and hide from the world.

I also have a sneaky suspicion no one will read this blog.

But what the heck? Admission time: I’m only doing this because I need to learn about blogging for my job. I will at some point have to unleash my ‘real’ self onto the world – or at least my real identity. I guess I’ll be more truthful writing here under a hurriedly chosen pseudonym than I will under my own name in a corporate environment.

Enough of the adolescent theorising (I am, after all, 35). I feel the need to lay down my own blogging manifesto before continuing. These are promises to myself. After all, no one else will read them… So here goes:

1. I will not tell people what I’m doing at any given time.
I really don’t get the less creative Twitter posts and Facebook status updates. I don’t care what people are doing (including my friends). I do care what they’re thinking.

2. I will do my best not to be dull.
Dullness is in the eye of the beholder of course, so there’s no objective way of telling whether I’m boring the pants of the poor fool who happens to stumble across this. However, I can bore myself silly sometimes (it’s annoying that we can never escape the sound of our own voice), and so will stop writing as soon as I feel the over-sensitive self-censor within me stir.

3. I will try to find a theme.
The best blogs I’ve read are usually about something. At the moment, I’m floundering around like a small child who’s been thrown in at the deep end and can’t find anything or anyone to grab hold of. I’ll find my stroke soon enough. Probably.

4. I will use proper grammar.
I do, however, reserve the right to dangle prepositions and bend the rules a bit. This is supposed to be an informal, conversational medium, right?

5. I will add to this list as I go along.
But for now, I need to go off and do something else (oooh, that was almost a status update – sorry). I’ll sort out my blogrolls and all that later. It’s been… profound. Right, how to you actually publish one of these things…?